Failing

When I interviewed for business school I was asked one question that completely stumped me.

“What’s your greatest failure?”

Huh?

For the curious, I spun an event that had didn’t go my way at work into a failure, but it felt disingenuous. Had I really failed? I’d learned something important that I likely wouldn’t have figured out any other way.

What I didn’t realize then was that while I get just as disappointed/frustrated/upset when things don’t turn out as planned that the sting wears off relatively quickly and my brain starts to solve for how to do it better next time.

It’s not a superpower or an innate skill. We all have that ability.

For me, it was an accidental muscle I built while playing baseball. The enjoyment I got from competing was greater than the shame of striking out or making errors.

More than anything, I just wanted to keep having fun. And that fun feels out of reach when you lose too often without finding some success. That required I improve which led to the objective muscle being built that could assess what went wrong and give me something new to try the next time it happened.

Learning anything requires that our brains be engaged. And nothing engages us like fun. For those of us who find fun in competition, we need to continue getting pushed.

It’ll make for some rough days, but focusing on how to try it differently next time rather than the outcome itself will get us through. All most competitors want is another chance. Every time you get that chance, do that one thing you identified a little better.

You’re not failing if you’re improving.